Health Tips from the 1870's

Interview With the Bookseller

Health Tips from the 1870’s: Today for Health Tips from the 1870’s I will be interviewing Kristofer Collins, a fine poet-gentleman who works for Caliban Book Shop, where I first gleefully encountered Everybody’s Own Physician. could you tell us a little bit about yourself and Caliban, Kris?

Kristofer Collins: I come from a long line of huggers, muggers, and thieves, but they’re cool people. Lately, most of my book related discussions have involved The Flash comics, and the rather clinical plates in our recent health acquisition, A Set of Anatomical Tables, with Explanations, and an Abridgment of the practice of Midwifery, with a View to Illustrate a Treatise on that Subject, and Collection of Cases by a William Smellie from 1793. Even as someone prone to flipping the pages of a Penthouse every now and then, this book was really something. Also I suffer from elevator fear.

HT: I will have to inquire at the shop about this Midwifery tome. Also, William Smellie is a pretty fantastic name. Now, in regards to Everybody’s Own Physician: How to Acquire & Preserve Health - you mentioned on Facebook that you remember this book from its time at Caliban. Do you recall the fine person from whom it was obtained?

KC: A distinguished roue smelling slightly of rose oil and formaldehyde dressed entirely in form-fitting corduroy. He had a wilted daisy in his lapel and yellowed teeth. Once as a child, this man danced the hotsy-totsy with Sarah Bernhardt. He is known around town as The Duchess.

HT: Do you believe that he followed C.W. Gleason, MD’s instructions? Also, was the form-fitting corduroy delightful or frightening?

KC: His face had the sheen of burnished wood, like an old end table freshly polished with Pledge. Either he’s a naturally nervous character or he had the shakes. He requested a glass of warm tap water during the transaction.

Tight corduroy is gauche, in my opinion. Wear baggy, baby, or don’t bother at all.

HT: Now, if you were to prepare for a journey back in time to the 1870’s, would you wear corduroy? What would your 1870’s wardrobe and survival kit consist of?

KC: Naturally, I would carry a chafing dish, coz really who doesn’t enjoy a good chafing. I suspect a cravat would be involved.

HT: It pleases me that a cravat would be involved. Personally, I am partial to ostentatiously colored/patterned ones.

Is there a particular health tip (from the 19th century or not) that you believe more people should live by?

KC: Personally, I think we could all use a little more radium in our diets.

HT: Everybody’s Own Physician was published 137 years ago. Where do you see humanity in 137 years? Where do you see yourself in 137 years?

KC: I see the future and my place in it like one of those distopian sci-fi flicks that Charlton Heston used to star in - You blew it up! You maniacs, you blew it up!! Yeah, I think that’s how it’s gonna go.

HT: What is the most surefire way to acquire and preserve super powers?

KC: Drugs. Lots and lots of drugs.

HT: Thank you for your time, dear Kris. Any final thoughts before we go?

If you ever come across a book on the diseases of the skin, or one on facial reconstructive surgery, take my advice and do not open it. Trust me, there are just some things once seen that cannot be unseen.

We shall often see how dangerous it is for any one to undertake to swallow and breathe at the same time, when we observe a number of dear good old ladies, who have assembled on some pleasant Summer afternoon, for the purpose of enjoying a little social chit chat over a cup of tea. After taking six or seven cups of good strong green tea, their tongues are apt to fly like a clapper! Now, the author would not for the world insinuate that any of these ladies are intoxicated. Not a bit of it. They are only tea’d a little bit! At all events, the tea has a wonderful influence over the spirit of the conversation! One dear good old lady is telling an amusing story - nothing about their neighbors; no one dares insinuate anything of that kind. While talking, she draws in a long breath to carry on the conversation, and at the same time takes a big mouthful of strong tea, and as the tea rushes down the throat, it finds the epiglottis raised, and the windpipe open to allow the air to pass into the lungs, so into the windpipe it rushes along with her breath, causing a convulsive fit of coughing, and a feeling of suffocation, as she gaspingly exclaims, “it has gone down the wrong way!

“

—	Everybody’s Own Physician, C.W. Gleason, MD, 1874 Yeah, that’s right - don’t talk with your mouth full… ladies.

The tongue is an organ of considerable size and power, as any one might suppose from what they have seen of its uses. It is said to be much larger in women than in men, although the author has never been able to verify the truth of this remark by anatomical dissections; but to say the least of it, as may plainly be seen, by the accompanying illustration, (figure 18) it is far larger in both sexes than it is generally thought to be; and perhaps this will readily account for the reason why it is so rarely fatigued or tired out, being able in many instance to wag from early morning until dewy evening, and too often I fear for the comfort of some people, from dewy evening until early morning.

“

—	Everybody’s Own Physician, C.W. Gleason, MD, 1874

yeoldemaidens:

1875-80 visiting gown

What all the most fashionable ladies are wearing while seeking health tips from the 1870’s

A quick note…

I know that things here at Health Tips from the 1870’s are starting off a little tame/slow. I’ve decided to work my way through the book from beginning to end. That way, if you want, you may get a full picture of how, per C.W. Gleason, MD, one might take care of one’s body in the 1870’s. Not all of this is meant to be terrible advice, or even funny (though I do love his semi-absurd writing style). There will be more pictures as we get to more hilarious/frightening diagrams - most of which occur in the section on skin care. I promise to not take them with my webcam.

If someone wants to volunteer to live their life for a year, or even a week, according to the instructions in this book, I would be all over that.

How to Make Toothpaste in 1874

Use once or twice a week a little tooth paste, made from equal parts of the following:

honey
powdered gum myrrh
charcoal
prepared chalk

Yum.

You do want good teeth, though. After all, “the author can always excuse the vanity of any young lady, if she laughs heartily, and opens her mouth from ear to ear, when she displays a mouth full of glittering pearly teeth, for they are so significant of character, so indicative of cleanliness and purity, from the crown of her head to the soles of her feet.”

All quotes from Everybody’s Own Physician, C.W. Gleason, MD, 1874

Is it a wonder that coffee and tea drinkers are often troubled with most obstinate constipation, and a sallow dingy, rusty skin, and dark complexion? Many of these victims of strong tea and coffee are tanned through and through, and their skins look and feel like rusty parchment or old leather. Many people who drink strong tea and coffee three times a day, swallow tannin enough to tan all of the leather for their own shoes.

“

—	Everybody’s Own Physician, C.W. Gleason, MD, 1874

Sometimes the question is asked, what shall I drink at meal time or with my food? And the answer is, nothing! If any fluid is taken at meal time, it should be warm water or warm milk and water.

“

—	Everybody’s Own Physician, C.W. Gleason, MD, 1874

Welcome to Health Tips from the 1870’s!

I’m a big fan of antique books, particularly ones made on printing presses where I can touch the pages and feel the indentations made in the paper. My parents gave me a copy of Percy Shelley’s poetry published in 1880 and since then I’ve lusted after overly expensive poetry books from the 1800’s in every antique store I’ve visited.

It turns out that I was missing out on a lot of hilarity by focusing on books of poetry.

About a year ago my husband found a book titled “Habits of Good Society” in an antique store in central Pennsylvania. It was falling apart and looked like it had been used to kill a spider one time, but the contents were hilarious. I now know how to present myself at court and how to choose who to invite to a ball. Thus, a new antique book obsession was born - 1800’s self-help.

The 1800’s seems to have been a time of writing about things in a very animated fashion. Extended metaphor and liberal use of exclamation points are employed. It’s a lovely thing, really, and it brings me to health tips from the 1870’s.

I found, at Caliban Books, this fine tome, Everybody’s Own Physician: How to Acquire and Preserve Health. It includes woodcuts from dear C.W. Gleason, M.D.’s own “cabinet” (so the book informs me). It is amazing, not simply for its wild inaccuracies (I can’t wait until we get to the chapter “The Female Constitution”), but also for the tone with which it is written, the absurd metaphors about lions, the really frightening drawings of blackheads.

Google is utterly unfamiliar with this book and I intend to fix that. So sit back and let the 1870’s tell you what to eat (spoiler: lots of stale wheat bread is involved), how to get rid of acne, and how to take of your vagina.

Everybody’s Own Physician: How to Acquire and Preserve Health